Cast of Characters

Even an ornery curmudgeon such as myself couldn't live without friends. Who else would keep my ego in check from growing to unhealthy proportions, laugh at my absurd dating stories, make fun of my ridiculousness.....but at the same time, who else will be there to help pick me up when I fall or give a shoulder to cry on when my heart is broken? My inner circle, my best friends, my second family of a select handpicked few which I sometimes lovingly and affectionately call, assholes. Meet the assholes:






Ms. Dragon Lady: One of my oldest, dearest and bitchest friends. We grew up together and only lived a few blocks apart in a "Stepford Wives" petri-dish suburb which is nicknamed "The Bubble". She is a trendsetter and has a drive and intelligence that is not easily matched. A shark among sharks, this hardcore New Yorker is defined by her sharp wit & tounge and isn't afraid to duel it out in a verbal sparring match (It's one of my favorite things about this whoreface). She is a tough one to crack with an armor of hardness but under all of that, she is one of the most loyal & giving people that I have ever met. She loves: family, friends, Chloe (dog), crazy shenanigans, vodka, NYC, models, jewelry, romance novels (she's really a hopeless romantic......sshhhhh), fabulous shoes, preposterous inside jokes and men that are totally wrong for her (her kryptonite).

Mrs. Worry Wort: Sheer luck and chance by potluck freshmen dormitory room assignment at MSU initially introduced us. The powers above needed some entertainment so they aligned the stars to put a country girl & a city girl together.....add the fuel of college, sorority and everything else, shake vigorously and what came out was a duo of destruction. She is one of the most generous, loyal and steadfast people that I know. She is a giver and has seen me through thick and thin. Not one to follow fads, she doesn't give a fuck about popularity and makes her own rules. Her demeanor is chill and laid back but has a natural inclination to worry about others, but make no mistake, this lover is a force to be reckoned with. She has the unwavering nerve to speak frankly and directly and isn't one to keep her opinions to herself. She loves: her husband, family, friends, Dexter (dog), wine, California, working out, Mediterranean cuisine, traveling, Pandora, chips, The Bachelor (which is terrible), and Texas A&M (yeah, she's an Aggie......no one is perfect).

Mrs. Work Boo: Originally met through sorority rush (she was my rush crush that year-but she joined the Chi O's) and we would only run in briefly at greek functions or parties. Fast forward a few years later and fate brought us together as co-workers. We are complete opposites in almost every way imaginable: She is sunshine, rainbows, and warmth. (I'm thunderclouds, lightening and cold). If there was an award for sweetest, most positive & friendliest person, she would win by a landslide. She epitomizes class, manners and understands subtly & compromise. (I have the manners, tact and subtly like a punch in the face). She is the yin to my yang but for all our differences, we compliment each other and mesh well. However, don't let all the sweetness fool you, do her harm and the ghetto Puerto Rican from Houston comes out, hands up and ready to throw down. She loves: Punkin (hubby), family, friends, Bella & Cooper (dogs), dancing (has only lost one dance off to a gay bumble bee), traveling, cupcakes, beaches, food, sparkly things, OMG gossip (she is not a NPR listener obviously), Christina Aguilara and cheesy chick flicks (typical chick.....).

Mr. Bike Snob: Met 3 years ago through a mutual friend when I first got into triathlon. The three of us would ride together and eventually the mutual friend stopped riding but we continued on. Since then he has been my riding partner & mentor increasing my cycling education & confidence across all disciplines of road, mountain, and fashion (unfortunately my bike handling skills are still sadly lacking....my bike handling skills are on par with my Asian driving skills). His knowledge, passion and patience is unparalleled for all things bike related. He comes off quiet and reserved at times, with a dry sarcastic sense of humor. A bit of a mama's boy but has a good heart and kindness not found in most men. He has an unquenchable thirst for knowledge and is always looking to expand on this through research and reading. Never one to shy away from the usual, he marches to his own drumbeat and takes pride in being able to think for himself rather than being a slave to societal norms. He loves: family, friends, all things cycling related (at present he owns 8 whole bikes and multiple frames, wheels, and random parts), kayaking, chocolate & pastries, movies, music, coffee, cigars, home brewed beers, knives and porn (he is a typical guy after all).


Stay tuned for more profiles of other assholes.......