T minus.........HOLY F@CK!

"When we tire of well worn ways, we seek for new. This restless craving in the souls of men spurs them to climb, and to seek the mountain view." ~Ella Wheeler Wilcox (American poet & writer 1850-1919)

A Restless Soul: The itch to travel has been burning pretty badly (no it's not an STD). I might have a slight addiction........ The pull of my wanderlust is the constant tugging of my soul, leading my mind and body to travel, search, and explore as much of this world as I can. I have this internal drive that is constantly wanting more, persistent in the pursuit of the next trip, the next adventure, an irresistible craving for the next taste of adrenaline. I love that excitement, that giddiness and the exploration of something that is completely different from the mundane, mediocre existence of everyday work life.......I  am constantly yearning for that rush (it's probably why I find relationships so boring and one of the many reasons I suck at them, ha!). I wonder if methadone will help? Good thing my trip to Nepal is almost here. That should provide a nice fix....................for a while.

Bubble Guts!: The logistics of the trip have been pretty daunting, from the airline travel, the trek, gear packing, culture research, bills at home that need to be paid while I'm a way, ect.....and today it officially hit me like a train. I'm doing this. I am so amped up about this trip but at the same time nervous about a gazillion things that could go wrong. I'm usually not a huge worry-wort but little second guesses are on the fringe of being full blown panic attacks. My asthma has always been my albatross around my neck. As a kid, I used to be pretty sickly and my Dr. had to write me a note excusing me of all physical activity. Eventually, I got it under control but it likes to rear it's ugly head at inopportune times. I know altitude affects me more than most, so I saw my Immunologist for lung function tests to make sure I wasn't going to pass out at 18,000+ ft. But I worry that my asthma will pop up and force me to retreat from going further/higher. Also, I am an absolute clutz....I worry that I'll slip and fall. Needless to say.......I bought emergency medi-vac insurance. I don't plan on using it, but just in case I break a leg and need to be life flighted out or worse......die. Welp, I'm coming home one way or another. Kind of freaking out about my luggage that contains all my gear. I know it's just "gear" but to a gear whore....that is some of my most prized possessions! Oh, and that gear is going to keep my ass warm in the Himalayas. I'm nervous of delays that will keep me from my adventure! (My OCP is totally schitzing out) *sigh* I know I can't do anything about it but these are a few of random worries. Oh well.

Why Nepal?: I've been asked a few times, "why Nepal?" Why travel to a 3rd world country and spend 15 days trekking up and down mountains, gasping for breath  (the altitude is going to be a bitch), putting my body through the ringer and spending nights in basic tea houses without the comforts of modern conveniences? Well......why the hell not? I've done a cruise, an all inclusive resort, I've visited lots of cities and that kind of traveling bores me now. I'm not hating on those that prefer to lay around a beach drinking Mai Tais; because, I like laying out on the beach sipping fruity drinks too, but I'm just too hyper active to spend my entire vacation doing that. I'll lay around on a beach for days at a time when my body is too crippled & broken to tear up more physical activities. So back to Nepal......I was doing research on a big international hiking trip because last year I traveled only in the continental US. There are so many beautiful places in the US to see but I was wanting something with a little more exotic flair. I was originally looking at Peru (Machu Pichu) or Chile (Patagonia) and I realized for the money I could go to Nepal and trek the Everest region. Now, I still want to visit Peru & Chile but the siren song of Nepal was just too great and I couldn't pass this up. I love traveling. The more badass the adventure, the better (closet adrenaline junkie, remember?). I'm always looking to go further, higher, harder......it's that restlessness in me that is never satisfied. If there isn't a possibility of getting hurt, or if it seems too "easy", I'm not really interested (apparently I'm a glutton for pain). I love researching the logistics, planning and figuring everything out. I love experiencing something completely new and immersing myself in different cultures. I want to see and get a true perspective on how the Nepalese people live. I love losing myself in the awe, splendor & power of nature and the Himalaya's are the pinnacle of towering peaks. Mother nature will always have the final say, no matter how prepared or physically fit you are; however, I love the exertion, the mental fortitude, the tenacity it takes, the high and sense of accomplishment when done. I love seeing sights that most will not or cannot do. On average, most tourists will only venture 1-2 miles from main roads. The further away from main roads, the better. This is my passion. This is why I work, to pay for my travels and adventures. This is my addiction. Traveling is my escape from the mundane and boring routine of life (plus I live in ugly N. Texas), to get away from the bullshit and headache of our idiotic & self entitled society. Staying home would be a lot cheaper, so if I'm dropping a few thousand dollars on a trip, it is going to be completely different from what I can find in the metromess.

Shout Outs: This is going to sound silly & sappy, but I have to voice my appreciation. In these times of economic uncertainty and with many people suffering from financial hardships: worrying about how to pay bills, put food on the table, ect....... I am completely grateful that my biggest worry is if my luggage will be under weight limit or not. My trip wouldn't be possible (or as easily done) without my friends & family. I'm fortunate to have the financial freedom and time off to take this trip, and wouldn't have this ability without my position at Valpak of Dallas. I am truly lucky to be surrounded by amazing, positive people who worry about my well being but support me in all my endeavors (no matter how crazy they seem). My family, I know you sometimes think I'm nuts (and that I'm going to be an old maid) but thank you for always encouraging me, no matter what. Mr. Sandbagger (Derek)-thank you so much for my Nepal going away care package. My bosses (Lane & Vivian)- thank you for allowing me to chase my passions with abandon and keeping me around. My clients- who turned in all their ads, orders and payments early so I wouldn't have to worry about them when I'm gone. My BFF's (in no particular order): 1.) Mrs. Worry Wort - thank you for always worrying about my safety whether it be traveling or making sure I don't get hurt on my numerous dates and who is taking care of my mail. It's nice to know someone is always looking out for me 2.) Mrs. Work Boo - my sweet & ridiculously goofy co-worker who is backing me up (please remember my "buttering up" gift when work gets hectic :) thanks for always being so bubbly at work and not pouting too much at my multiple absences due to traveling 3.) Mr. Bike Snob - thanks for all our bike rides, great work-outs, fun times soaking up the sun & being outside but good therapy too. Also, thanks for taking me to the airport (saving a bundle not parking at the garage) and hooking me up to finally get my scratches & dents fixed on my car. Then, to everyone else who has wished me well and safe travels.....THANK YOU. One life to live......let's do this.

Field Notes

Since breaking up with Mr. Rock Climber, I've been on 10 dates. There was even one weekend I decided to go on 3 dates, with 3 different guys, in 3 days back to back to back. Yeah, I literally had a triathlon of dates. Endurance athlete = endurance dating. Don't worry, I've been training hard, had a game plan, executed it perfectly, and nailed my nutrition and hydration. I even took a page out of triathlon/backpacking training.....made sure I tested out all outfits before. Nothing new on race date day. ;)

So for February & March.....here are a few of my "Field Notes" on my research:

Date 1-Liquid Diet: I understand that first dates can be slightly intimidating and all....but when you down 8 bourbons on the rocks in a couple of hours....I'm going to think you are an alcoholic. When you tell me how nervous you are, I am completely empathetic and I respect the honesty. Don't get me wrong, I like my wine and beer, but these days I don't need to get plowed at dinner. When you tell me you also have a flask on you and thats why you've been going to the men's room so often, is to chug more whiskey.....now I KNOW you are an alcoholic. Yes, I am judging you on how much you drink. I am no longer impressed by how many alcoholic beverages you can consume before vomiting or how long you can do a keg stand for. Try college girls if that is the best game you got.

Date 3-Stealth Attack: I know making moves on the female kind is a little scary, but please......for the love of all that is holy and sacred, if you're not sure if your physical overtures will be welcomed or not, just F'ing ask. Do not grab me by the hips and pull me on to your lap as I'm walking away....1.) I am not a F'ing lap dog.  2.) Nor am I a stripper trying to give you a lap dance....that is me flailing desperately to get off and escape from your clammy clutches. Now since I did not reciprocate any of your advances and feel wholly violated, all I want to do is go home. So, again......do not grab me as I'm trying to get in my car, wrap me in a bear hug and start mugging down on me. (becasue I was trying to avoid his lips on mine, I kept moving my head around trying to get away-I felt like he was slobbering all over my face and he was about to eat me.) Gross. Since trying to push you away wasn't sending the message to your oafish brain.......how about an elbow to the throat? Yep. That did the trick......how'd my bony ass elbow feel right into the wind pipe? Seriously?! WTF is up with the stealth attacks from behind? Don't have enough balls to attack me while facing me? Not cool. He was lucky I didn't pull the T combo on him.....it's what I call my "spray & shank". (spray face full of mace and a knife in the gut) Yes, I carry mace and a knife in my Louis Vuitton purse and if you get blood on my LV purse you owe me a new one.

Intermission: When I'm on vacation, please don't blow up my phone. I'm on vacation trying to enjoy my limited time away from work and the metromess. If you send me a couple of texts and I don't answer back, that means I'm either busy or ignoring you. That does not mean to send me 20 text messages in a row to get my attention. I got it the first time around, I don't need 19 more messages telling me the same damn thing. I don't give a shit that you miss me. Isn't it obvious I don't feel the same because I haven't even replied? I'm out having fun and ENJOYING my vacation......just because I vacation alone does not mean I'm lonely and pining over your sorry ass. When I finally get home and I tell you we are just better off as friends......don't send me a video of you singing a love song. Lame. You are lucky I'm not a complete bitch because I could have posted that shit online and made you a YouTube star. I did show my BF's though, so I have eyewitnesses.

Date 6-Getting Chicked: I understand that first impressions are important and that men want to impress women with how "manly" they are. I'm fairly adventurous and active so I would love to find a guy that has similar passions. So this particular first date, I was pretty excited because my date threw this at me:

Date: "So, I'm a very avid outdoorsman, love traveling and going on adventures and constantly on the go because I want to see as much of the world as I can. I'm at home in the back country completely roughing it. Need to find someone that can hang, so do you think you are up for the challenge?"


Alright! Now this is what I'm talking about. It's definitely hard to find guys that aren't a bunch of metro-sexual, affliction wearing, 30k douche bag wussies in the metroplex. So, I of course excitedly ask him about his latest "adventure" because he said he just got back in town from camping.

Date: "Yeah, I apologize if I'm a bit tired. I camped out at Lake Texoma and my legs are sooooo shredded from the 5 miles of hiking I did this weekend."


*Initial excitement starts to fade*

Me: "Oh, Lake Texoma, huh? I went there a few times in college. So you hiked in 5 miles and then camped?" 

Date: "Nah. I set up camp first and then went on a 5 mile hike."

*confused face*

Me: "So.......you didn't carry all your gear in with you?"

Date: "Oh no. I have way too much stuff. My SUV was loaded to the brim with firewood, cooler, speaker system, gear and ect."

*excitement has officially plummeted*

Me: "So, you car camped."

I continue to ask about his other "adventures" and travels that he has been on and come to find out he has only been to Canada and Taos, NM to ski. He def has me on skiing and snowboarding but he over inflated his outdoor & traveling studliness. He only car camps around TX and goes with 5-11 other people with a longest hike of 5 miles in a day. Which, there is nothing wrong with car camping or a 5 mile hike but when you throw out words like "avid outdoorsman", "explore the world", "at home completely roughing it in the back country" and "can you hang?".......my expectations are of Bear Grylles trapeising around the world hopping from one crazy outdoor adventure to the next and you also just threw down a challenge for me. Anybody that knows me, knows that if you throw down the gauntlet at my feet.....you better get the hell out of my way if you know what is good for you.

Date: *now a little irritated at my lack of interest in his stories* "So, what have you done?"

What? Oh...... Game. On. I proceeded to tell him a few of my adventures........needless to say he got chicked. Big time.

I'm not saying I am the most outdoorsy or adventurous person out there. I feel like I still have a lot more to learn and experience but when you gloat about being an "avid outdoorsman" and then ask if I can hang? But all you do is car camp? Failboat. That's like me bragging that I'm an avid golfer, but just play putt putt every once in awhile. I pretty much T-bagged him with my bigger cajones. Yeah, I just said that.....what?


Men, take note. Things not to do (actual things that have happened):
1.) No video's of you singing love songs......unless you are Justin Timberlake.
2.) No pictures of your man hood. Anticipation is half the fun.
3.) Do not blow up my phone if I don't answer immediately. I have a full time job and active life.
4.) Don't get jealous that I hang out with other men. One of my bff's is a guy and he is my riding partner, which means we spend many hours together riding.....bikes, not each other so keep the jealousy down.
5.) Don't fish for lots of compliments. If you need your ego constantly stroked, it just shows how insecure you are.
6.) Do not maul me or I might be forced use the "T combo".
7.) Do not order for me. I'm a big girl and can order my own food thanks.
8.) Do not over inflate your accomplishments nor underestimate me, and when you get chicked, take it like a man.
9.) Do not try to get on my bike or spin the cranks.....there are only 3 people allowed to touch my bike. That is myself, Mr. Bike Snob (Jason), and Gary (bike fitter). Yes, I'm anal retentive and have OCD.
10.) Don't ask me for my opinion and then get butt hurt if you can't handle my bluntness & honesty. I tell it how I see it.

Personal Lessons:
So, what have I learned through my marathon of dates (besides that I ate really well)? I've met some really cool guys that I would love to stay friends with (nothing wrong with being friend zoned) but I've also run into some jerks that kind of turn me off to the opposite sex. It takes that right mixture of timing, chemistry and attraction, ect for me to want to be in a relationship. After this last block of dating, and being really honest with myself....I'm perfectly happy being alone right now. Actually, I really excel being alone (because I don't have to compromise :P). I usually feel weighed down and hindered when in a relationship anyways (except for one). So, that tells me that I shouldn't waste my time in a relationship if it doesn't feel right in the early stages. I'm going to take a break (my asshole friends will have to find amusement somewhere else) since I'm about to be out of the country for almost 3 weeks on my yeti hunt (aka Nepal trip!!!! T minus 12 days!!!) Like I said, not in any rush and I already live a full happy life without a significant other.

My Message:
To my single friends.....don't ever settle because you're scared to be alone. Don't wait to chase your dreams & passions. Just go for it. Almost every one of my dates have told me this same line to varying degrees:

"I've always wanted to do "X", but don't have anybody to do it with. So that's why I haven't done it yet"  

Whaaat!? When I hear men say this, I automatically think: "Stop being a little bitch and do it." What I'm trying to so eloquently say is, don't wait to live life. Learn to be happy on your own, live the life that you want NOW and when the right person comes, they will help enhance your happiness. So many people think that getting a gf/bf/fiance/ect is the only way to be happy and experience life. You only have one life to live and it's too short to spend it waiting around and being unhappy.