Field Notes (Part III)

If I were to reverse the dating mine field observation to my behavior and actions, my immediate conclusion would be that I'm an asshole. Mrs. Work Boo calls me "lovely" but what she really means is that I'm pretty fucking terrible sometimes. Without further ado.......Field Notes numero tres:

Karma's a bitch......guess what my middle name is?:

So, in Field Notes (Part II), I briefly mentioned a guy I was texting with, who would always ask me at the last second if I wanted to meet up but I didn't- 1.) I always had plans 2.) I wasn't going to drop my plans for a guy. The other week he finally wizened up and asked me a full week ahead of time. (I think in a previous life I might have been a dog trainer ;) I kid, I kid. Men aren't dogs......well, some might.) I wasn't really THAT into him (but then again, I rarely am into a guy especially in the initial stages). Good looking, attorney, well traveled but his lifestyle was that of a bachelor party boy. He went to the club/lounges and got hammered all the time. I have no issues with that lifestyle but it's just not my thing every weekend. If this was the 21-24 yr old me, it would have appealed to me, but I'm 28 now. These days, I really can't stand going to lounges/clubs and being dry humped all night without permission (Oh, is that a boner rubbing up on my backside? That's cute. Now put it away before I smash your face in!) Anyways, we set a date and place to meet up. The day of our date my Mt. Shasta guide books came into the office. I REALLY wanted to read my books! Also, a really nasty thunder/hail storm blew through and that was all I really needed to push me into cancelling. Yep. I totally cancelled the date because 1.) I wanted to read my books 2.) get a trainer ride in 3.) I really didn't want to drive in the weather. Lame? Probably. Do I care? Not in the least fucking bit.

Getting Iceberged:

*DISCLAIMER: This next portion is long. Also, if you have struggled with your weight, I'm sorry if you get offended. I am not roasting this guy for being fat, I'm roasting him for blatantly LYING about everything*

If you've been following along since Field Notes , there was a date where I caught him over exaggerating his outdoor adventures. I pretty much bitch slapped him back down to reality on his outdoor studliness. I thought that guy over embellished a bit and after meeting this last whopping douche lord, I almost want to take down that post (almost, but not quite). The winner of "The Big Fat Liar" award goes to this gem. At first on paper he seemed like someone who could be potentially interesting. Of course they all do until I start digging deeper for concrete evidence of said achievements. This guy that I was talking to, stated that he: "Lives an active & healthy lifestyle, and would love to find someone to share this with. I always live adventurously & love intelligent conversation." And let the crushing begin.

He called me to talk and this was our phone conversation in a condensed version:

He told me that he "loved going to the gym to work-out work stress". Come to find out his "active lifestyle" consists of walking on the treadmill for 30 minutes 2-3x a week.......That's um.....good. At least he's moving? Right? Ok, ok....so maybe when I think "active lifestyle", images of my ridiculously lean, training obsessed tri-geek friends pop into mind. Or my other friends who might not necessarily "train for races" but bike, hike, golf, climb, do crossfit or whatever. Even my “lazy” friends like Mrs. Work Boo goes to the gym 3x a week and does a cardio circuit, weights and runs 2-3 miles.

I love adventures. I find as I get older they keep getting bigger and badder. It keeps life interesting and I like the excitement and euphoria induced high derived from them. Whether this means backpacking solo, cliff jumping, bagging 14'ners, to jumping out of a perfectly good airplane the definition is subjective; however, I wasn’t expecting this answer. So when I asked him what the most adventurous thing he has ever done, he replied: “Driving from Plano to Denver in 3 days.” Huh? That is like a 12-14 hr drive. Did he drive a solar panel car?  Bike it? Drag the car? Nope, he meant drive as in get behind a car and drive. Ummm……really? That sounds pretty fucking lame to me. I bet the most exciting thing he does all day is drop a deuce. *sigh* I get that "adventurous" is subjective as well as "active" and to a professional athlete or someone who regularly base jumps my “active lifestyle & adventures” might seem “cute” and I would never think to categorize myself at their level. Why on earth would he consider himself on the same playing field as me. Yeah, that was a bit cocky, but he knew what I considered "adventurous" from the beginning. Why did he even think we would match up here? Fail.

The "healthy" aspect of his lifestyle is that he lost 130lbs, which is AMAZING. Very impressed to hear someone lose weight and become more active. I'm not going to even hate on that......but HOLD. THE. PHONES. 130lbs is a whole other person! If he lost that much weight, how much did he weigh previously and more importantly how much does he weigh now??? Look, I'll be straight up blunt right here. I don't want to date an obese man. Not looking for super model 8 pack abs, but if you weigh twice as much as I do or more, I'm sorry.......that is not appealing to me. Yes, this is an asshole statement. It's superficial and shallow....but it is honest.

Now that I knew he had lost a lot of weight, things started to click. I knew something was amiss when he only had pics of himself from chin up and this explains why “active” for him was walking on the  treadmill for 30 minutes. My curiosity was killing me to know what his current weight is. I knew that he would probably be really sensitive about his weight but I HAD to know. I asked him what his "target" weight was and he said that his goal was 180lbs. I then asked him how much further he had to his goal and he replied with 20-30lbs. So, based off his answers and taking the high end, 210lbs (he also said he was 5'9). Hmmm......I had the sneaky suspicion that this wasn't the truth because my bullshit meter was reading off the charts. Switching tactics, I decided on a around about way of gleaning the information. I left the weight subject alone and started talking about random stuff and then I told him how I had just booked my b-day sky dive date with 2 of my girlfriends and non-chalantly asked if he's ever jumped.

His reponse: "Well, that's another area where my weight is an issue. I would love to do it, but I would still need to lose another 20-30lbs to make the weight limit."

Got-cha! *eat shit grin* Me being a sly little shit used my wily ways to get the truth. The alarms were going off on this guy so I knew in my gut he was bending the numbers when he was trying to tell me he was around 210lbs. Here is how I logically deducted that his true weight was between 250 to 275 with the higher end being the probable weight. Based off his previous numbers lies, I knew he wasn't being completely forthright with me. The maximum weight limit for tandem sky diving is 220lbs. I know this because I've gone sky diving a couple of times already and remember reading it. He said that he needed to lose 20-30 to make the weight limit. I took the higher end of 30lbs and added that to 220 to get 250. I figure another 10% disparity for his range of lying and you get a top end of 275. Since he claims to be 5'9, I bet he is probably 5'8 and 3/4 at most and at 250-275......that's a big boy. I totally got iceberged (when one posts pictures of only their face because they are really huge).

Yeah-yeah. You can flame me for not wanting to be with a significantly overweight person all you want but let’s take a second and be real here. I’m not saying I’m supermodel thin (I’m not….I love food too much and my motto is “I train to eat”) but the reality is, I am weight height proportionate even being 10lbs heavier than my leaner “race weight”. The really crazy thing was that he asked me what I found attractive. I was bluntly honest and told him that I am attracted to lean athletic men. (Erm, have you seen the manorexic hottie pace booty at triathlons? It’s what kept me involved ;) Attraction is not everything but it is part of the whole package too. If I can’t envision getting down and diirrty with you, it’s just not going to happen. Besides the physical attraction, his current lifestyle would not have meshed with mine. He wouldn’t have lasted 15 minutes on any of the hikes I did this year, he doesn’t have the ability to travel, and overall, he’s not my type of “active”. Maybe he wanted me to help motivate him to be more active and adventurous but I’m not Jillian Michaels of biggest loser looking for a make-over project.

I pretty much already knew this was a dud and I had absolutely no intentions of meeting this guy for a date and I should have politely hung up but the glutton in me wanted to see how much further this guy would dig. Oh.....this idiot didn't know when to stop!

He originally stated that he was a "Healthcare Vendor Specialist". Asking him outright produced vague and half assed explanations of his job. After non-stop pestering, prying and prodding (I don't give up very easily) he finally spit out that he was a copier technician. Yep. The guy that fixes copy machines, in hospitals. Well, at least he is a working member of society.

Then he tried to tell me: "You know, I would rather make little money then make a lot and be miserable." 

*rolls eyes* Uh-huh. Riiiiight.

I politely asked him if he thought about furthering his education.

His response: "Well, actually....yes. I really enjoy talking to people and helping them with their issues. I want to go back and get a degree in Psychology so I can...you know help talk people through their problems. I don't want to be....erm...the one that prescribes medication but, you know the other one, cause I'm really good at talking people through their issues."

Really dipshit? I understand college is not for everyone. It's ok. It's also ok to not know what you want to do but don't fucking talk out of your ass.

*sarcasm font on level 10*

Me: "You mean you want to be a Psychologist not a Psychiatrist."

Him: "Yeah! That's it. I really want to help talk people through their issues and stuff."

Me: "That's noble. You do realize the difference between the two, right?"

Him: "Uuuuuhhhhhmmmm"

Me: "Psychiatrists are MD's that complete medical school, residency, fellowships and pass their boards. Psychologist's, even though they don’t pursue a Medical Degree, they still need a minimum of a Master's with most earning a Phd and passing boards as well."

Him: "Umm. Oh, I didn't realize there was so much schooling involved. But I would still want to go for it. I guess you would know that because your background is in healthcare."

*rolls eyes*

No dumbass. I know this because I at one time thought about being a Psychologist and looked into educational requirements. Oh and in high school we went over the differences in psychology. So if he had taken any psych class whatsoever he would have known. I at one time thought I was going to pursue a higher degree too. You know what stopped me? I was fucking tired of school and I just didn’t have it in me to put my resources, time, and energy to pursue a masters. Yep. That’s right…..I’M TOO FUCKING LAZY! I totally admit it.

Him: "Well, I actually went to college too and majored in English but didn't finish my degree because of family issues." 

Me: "Why did you study English if you wanted to become a *sic* Psychologist?"

Him: "Well, I wanted to be write a book on Psychology but you know the book companies won't take you seriously if you don't have an English degree. Those that don't have an English degree are stuck writing short stories and stuff."

*rolls eyes* Getting kind of dizzy rolling my eyes so much

Me: “You do realize I’m college educated, right? What you just said makes absolutely no sense”

*awkward silence*

Really? So you mean you won't be published if you don't have an English degree? Wow. Somebody tell JK Rowling that she better go back and get her English degree or else the publishers won't take Harry Potter seriously. Or Stephen Hawking, you might be the most brilliant genius on this planet but you won't be able to publish any books without that English degree! What. The. Fuck. Is this dumbass for real? Yes, he really said all that nonsense. If I were a betting woman, I would say he might have at the most 9 college hours to his name (and that is being generous) and they were all remedial classes. Now you are probably wondering why I am still on the phone.....his lies are getting grander and grander and I can't stop listening. It's like passing a car accident; you stare out of morbid curiosity even though you know you shouldn’t.

Then we start talking about my adventures, traveling, backpacking, training, triathlon, ect which means I'm schooling him in all subjects because he doesn't do any of the above. I was at a point where I needed to wrap this up because I was meeting a friend for dinner and the perfect question came up for me to start shutting this conversation down.

Him: "So, are you competitive?"

Am I competitive? Let's put it this way, we had to stop playing physical games during our sales meeting at work because the last time we played a game that was a mix between horse basketball (we used mini basketballs thrown into office trash cans) and musical chairs. I straight up tackled one of my co-workers. He was a 200lb dude.

*bitch mode at level 10*

Me: "Yeah. I am. In anything I do, I always push myself. When I'm in the training mindset, I train to be the best that I can possibly be. If the race plays to my strengths (longer swim, longer bike, really short run), I'm in it to win it"

Him: "Oh yeah, I am too. I would love to race you"

Me: "Nah. I'd crush you."

Mind you, I usually don't say that to people because I'm not the fastest triathlete AG'er out there but I was tired of this nonsense and it was time to pulverize this idiot's delusions.

Him: "Well, I'll admit you probably have me on the run, and possibly the bike because you are smaller and can get lower and into.....you know closer to the bike and all."

Me: "You mean I can get more aerodynamic."

*files nails*

Him: "Yeah! But I know I could crush you on the swim."

{Squealing brake noise} What? Was that a direct challenge? Oh hell no he didn't. Now I am super curious to know his pace and why he is so sure that he could crush me. I don't claim to be an elite swimmer whatsoever, but I did compete on swim team for 10 years as a kid and I manage to be a front of packer in races (when properly trained of course).

Me: "Oh, ok. So do you swim often?"

Him: "Yes. I love the water. I swim once a week"

Me: "So, do you swim with a Master's team & do you compete in races?" 

Him: "Well, no but I was thinking when I lost another 20-30lbs I would join."

*rolls eyes* Always comes back to that excuse…..”I would if I lost another 20-30lbs”. Lame. Excuses are like assholes, everyone has one.

Me: "What are your work-outs like then? What is your yardage? Times?"

Him: "Um, I just jump in and swim laps. I feel that you are trying to get to something here."

Me: "Yeah, I want to know what your pace per 100M is. You just told me you could crush me in the swim. I told you why I could crush you in triathlon; I gave you my times, distances, splits and race placing’s, so I want the facts to back up the claim that you can beat me."

Him: "Well, I don't really know my time. Like I said, I just go jump in and swim laps. I know I can crush you because I pass up all the people in the gym's pool and I have really strong legs."

Ok, I've seen the strange aquatic denizens of gym pools. Most of them are aqua jogging, floating or doing something not akin to lap swimming. I can lap them doing one legged kick drills. You are basing your greatness on “crushing” non-swimmers taking it easy in the pool? That’s like me bragging that I’m a genius but comparing myself to someone who is mentally handicapped! 

Me: "So you are basing your ability to crush me on being able to beat people that aren't even swimming laps? How many laps do you swim?"

Him: "Well, I would say around 10 or 20."

If you take his penance in consideration for lying it is probably closer to 5.

Me: * stifling laughter* "Hmmm....ok."

Him: "So what do you swim for a work-out?"

Me: "Well, when I do train seriously I'm doing 2,500 to 3,800 yds in a workout depending on my focus."

Him: "Um. How many laps is that?"

Me: "Divide it by 25, so anywhere from 100 to 152."

Him: "Well, I might not have the endurance to go that far but I would crush you for the first 50yds."

Me: "No you wouldn't. I would fucking obliterate you. By the way, I swam competitively for 10 years as a youngster and I never competed in anything over 200M"

Why would you brag about being fast at one of the most technical sports and you don't even know what your pace or yardage is to back up your claim? Swimming is all technique. Any serious swimmer knows their pace and distance. Always.

And to top off his grand display of buffoonery, he had the audacity to ask me out on a date. I was actually nice and let him down gently, I figured the least I could do would be let him down easy since I just crushed his man ego. No sense to kick a man while he’s down. I very politely told him I thought it was awesome that he had achieved a lot with his weight loss & to not give up and continue on his path of active and healthy lifestyle; however, I did not think we were a good match. He hung up on me. And then a few minutes later he started texting me. He was trying to plead his case and was literally debating his point of view why we should date. *My replies are in blue.

What is it with this assclown? I get that he was trying to become more active and lose weight, I’m not torching him on that, but I’m completely baffled why he thought we would be a good match and literally begged to meet up for a face to face date via text even after the first time I said no over the phone. (Mrs. Work Boo said he was probably going to kill me because I shut him down on all fronts). Relationships are about balance and give and take……what did he have to offer? Not to be a complete bitch but he didn't match up on a single category! Looks/weight/attraction/education/career/financial/lifestyle/morals/integrity all were missing from this ass hat. He even KNEW it too (last text box)! I'm looking for someone to date, not to be a personal trainer/life coach/wilderness guide/therapist/career advisor. We all have issues but he is fucking delusional. I’m kind of offended that he even thought he had a chance. I almost sent him the chart below (Yeah, I’m a bitch…..what? And be honest, if this shit happened to you, you would’ve thought the same thing. I’m just blunt enough to say it out loud.)

Final Thoughts:
Look, I know I will never be a graceful dancer with elegant lines and perfect posture. The best moves I got look like Quasimodo doing the lawn mower. I will never be a pretty or fast runner. I'm happy that my run has progressed from a dying T-rex to that of a semi-retarded Allosaurus and that my Garmin can actually read movement when I "run". I will never be charming. I'm as charming as a folding chair over the head. I wouldn’t match up well to a complete American History intellectual who loves to read and does nothing but talk and debate about the Civil War. I don’t even like American History. I also wouldn’t match up well with an artsy fartsy person who loves abstract expressionism. I prefer realism and personally I think most abstract expressionism paintings looks like my baby cousin got into paint and splattered it using her diaper. *shrugs* But, that’s me and art is not really my forte. I get it. I'm completely honest and self aware of my weaknesses. I own it. This is who I am. Nobody said you had to like it.

Guadalupe Mountains Trip Report: 5/26/12-5/28/12

“Security is mostly a superstition. It does not exist in nature, nor do the children of men as a whole experience it. Avoiding danger is no safer in the long run than outright exposure. Life is either a daring adventure or nothing.” — Helen Keller

A week of being home from Nepal, I was already presenting classic signs withdrawals. How do I cure myself? Maybe sign up for a race........nah. Figure out my next trip of course! So, before the dust had even settled from my Nepal trip, I decided to tag along with some people going to the Guadalupe Mountains from the North Texas Outdoor Pursuit Center (bad ass rock climbing gym & outdoor gear outfitter). I've never been and it is one of the few parts of Texas I wanted to visit. My place looked like REI took a massive dump and gear turds were dropped all over the place. I hadn't put anything up yet......I think subconsciously I knew I would be go somewhere soon. :)

This particular trip didn't have my usual anal retentive planning since I was pretty much tagging along and letting someone else dictate the itinerary. All I was planning on doing was packing and going. What made this particular trip much different from my usual backpacking destinations, was this was going to be desert hiking. I'm not a fan of the heat and temps were forecasted to be in the 90's daytime and 60's night time. Most of my trips are in much cooler alpine temps......hell, I own more cold weather clothes, layers, gear AND I live in Texas. Why then go to the Guadalupe's? Meh, I'm all about putting myself in different situations, trying new things and I heard it was pretty. Plus a chance to get out of craptastic Dallas for a mini-adventure......IN! :) Yah, I don't much care for the heat but the real trick was going to be lowering my base pack weight so I could carry an additional 10-12lbs of water. The 3's of survival. Most people perish without: 3 minutes or air, 3 days of water or 3 weeks without food. Hot temps and I have to carry ALL my water? Mother F@cker! I'm not exactly an ultralight backpacker either. My pack is easily 40+ lbs and that is actually more than I should be carrying with my frame/height/weight ratio. *Sigh* No jumbo bags of Swedish Fish candy this go around. *pouts*.

Texas has mountains.......NO SHIT?!

Left at the ass crack of dawn from the DFW area and drove nine hours (endurance car ride....oof!) across the flat wasteland of Texas heading west. I passed out for a couple of hours and when I awoke we were driving through the Guadalupe Mountain range. WTH? Texas DOES have mountains. Huh. Who would have thought. Now, these mountains are nowhere near the size of the massive behemoths of the Himalayan range or even the Rockies (awwww, baby mountains!) but there was a rugged beauty that appealed to me. We were headed up the highest peak of Texas which is: Guadalupe Peak at 8,749 ft.
We arrived around 3:30 PM, stopped by the ranger station, picked
up our back country permits, grabbed our gear and headed out a little after 4:00 PM. We topped off on water at Pine Springs Campground because there are no sources of water up the mountain. I packed in about 10.3 lbs in water. So overall, my pack weighed just shy of 40lbs with all my gear and water. The hike up was 4 miles and a little over 3,000 ft of elevation gain.
My legs were a little angry for being cramped in a car for
9+ hours and now I was forcing them up a mountain with 40lbs
on my back. Also, note to self: don't eat a foot long, double meat sub from Subway and not expect stomach cramps. About halfway up, the weather started to turn. I was headed up a switchback when I saw a glimmer of lightening to the west (which was the direction we were headed). After a few minutes of watching the sky get a bit darker, the unmistakable streak of lightening lit up the west again followed by a loud boom of thunder. I hollered out "LIGHTENING!" That lit a fire under everyone's ass to get moving. We hastily covered our packs with our rain covers, dropped them on the trail and scrambled down the mountain off trail to take shelter under a rock outcropping. Thankfully, Owen thought quickly and grabbed a mango and badass Shelly has a knife in an ankle holster which he used to divide up the fruit. We munched on mango and had front row seats to watch the thunderstorm blow across the valley. It was awesome. Storm only lasted 20-30 minutes (and I forgot my rain jacket....FAIL T!) and as soon as it passed we grabbed our gear and continued on. As we were ascending, we saw a double rainbow (albeit a faint 2nd rainbow). "WHOOOA! OMG! OMG! OMG! WOOOO! OMG.....look at that....a double rainbow...." *weeps* What does this mean? OMG! It's so bright....AAHH! OOOHH! OMFG! *cries* (Youtube of double rainbow: here if you don't know what I'm referencing). Anyways, we made it to camp a little after 7:00 ish and set up to enjoy a solid day of traveling and decent pace up. The ground was pretty much solid slab of rock so I had to use head sized rocks to anchor my tent. I picked up this one rock and half a dozen beetles scurried about and startled the shit out of me. Yeah, I screamed like a little bitch. Had a great view of the valley where we set up our "kitchen", ate dinner and watched the sun set. After darkness enveloped up in an inky blanket, I finished last minute chores and crawled in my tent to get some shut eye.

What goes up, must come down:

I was drifting off to La-La land when a flashlight was so rudely pointed towards my tent. A man came up to our campsite and asked us to unzip our tents because he needed to speak with us. Ugh. Back in my college days, I remember park rangers crashing our campsites to make sure we were not drinking illegally. So, I'm grumpily thinking he is just doing an alcohol check.

Ranger: "Hey guys......sorry to disturb you but I'm going to have to ask you to pack up and evacuate."

Me (still groggy from sleep): *grunts* 

Tyler: "Huh? We just got here like 3 hours ago. What's going on?"

Ranger: "There is a wildfire to the west and there are 10-20 mph winds blowing this direction, so I'm sorry but you'll have to evacuate and descend back down the mountain immediately."

Me (less groggy): *grunts multiple F bombs*

So, at 11:00PM we packed up our shit as best as we could with the light of our headlamps and made our way down. Now, remember.....I'm Asian, female, the grace of a cow on ice AND I am legally blind without my contact lens. I wear dailies when I backpack, so I only had enough for the remaining trip and I already took my lens out and threw them away. I only had my glasses on, which I have no depth perception in (it's why I don't really drive at night) and I have a healthy dose of fear from falling down mountains while on the descent (Alaska trip 2010 is a very vivid reminder). Anyhoo, we loaded up our packs and made our way by the lights of our headlamps. I was the slowest one down the mountain because I could barely see and I was literally tapping my way down the mountain like a blind man. Not so much fun descending in pitch black darkness, sleepy, 40lbs on your back and not being able to see. Made it down without breaking anything (my toes felt like mashed potatoes) and set up camp in a patch coned off by the RV's. Not exactly like the scenic spot we had up on the mountain, but at almost 1:00 AM we were just exhausted and ready to crash. Turns out, one of the lightening bolts that I saw touched down and sparked the wildfire (click here for official report). Also come to find out, the ranger that woke us up rode a donkey up the mountain to tell us to evacuate. What!? Rude! At least bring enough donkey's for all our gear. *sigh* Like I said in a previous post......mother nature always has the final say. She can be one cruel bitch.

Damn it's f@cking hot! Oh....wait....this is the desert:

A little after 6:00 AM, I woke up to the searing sun shining in through my tent. Ugh. It was starting to feel like a sauna in there. Not used to waking up hot and sweaty when I camp out. I'm used to waking up in crisp cool mountain air fighting the urge to wake up because I'm nice and warm in my sleeping bag. This was only my second foray into dry arid desert hiking (GC was my first). Oh well, I signed up for this adventure.....time to go play! The fire closed off Guadalupe Peak trail so we had to go to a different trail. We were all pretty shelled from the night before so we decided to set up base camp at Pine Springs and head out to Mckittrick Canyon with just day packs for some more hiking. Nice easy pace, checked out Pratt House (a historical site on the trail), sat and napped a bit in the Adirondack chairs. Snacked a bit and headed to the Grotto where we napped on some benches. It was hot, we were tired and just taking it easy. Out of the shade and cover of trees the sun and heat was relentless. It was only slightly bearable because it was a "dry" heat. I also ran out of water the last mile or so......doh!  Heading back out I picked up the pace because I was tired of being beaten down in the heat, needed water stat....plus I had to pee and I was trying to make it back to the restrooms near the trail head. Ah yes, the joys of the outdoors. I don't regret any of it at all!

Final thoughts:
Definitely glad I went to check out the Guadalupe's. Very different from my usual alpin/mtn excursions but I probably won't go back in the summer. I was not ready for the heat because I was not heat acclimated, being in Nepal for almost three weeks. Daytime highs were mid 90's and night time was decent, at a comfortable 60. I would prefer to go back during cooler temps such as fall or winter but if you have a chance, go check out that part of Texas. It does not resemble anything like the flat ugliness of N. TX. It was actually lush in the desert with the recent rainfall and greenery covered most cliffs and mountains sides. Nice hiking and pretty scenery not found in most parts of the state. The rocky outcroppings of El Capitan with the surrounding rugged mountains are a beautiful back drop to the Chihuahuan desert.

Gear wise, I was checking out a new middle pack that I bought on sale from REI: the Millet Odyssee 45. I wanted to use a smaller pack than my REI Flash 65 pack because I have a tendency to fill up empty space.....the big purse syndrome. The more room you have, the more likely you'll fill it up with unnecessary crap. The size was perfect for this length and type of trip but I wasn't a fan of the narrow shoulder straps and there were no side mesh pockets for my nagalane bottles. I ended up clipping one bottle with a carabiner (which was annoying because it would sashay and swing as I hiked) and stashing the other in my pack. Anyways, I ended up returning it (REI has the BEST return policy) and swapping it out for an Osprey Kestral 45. My 24L day pack is by Osprey and I love it. The water from the faucet at Pine Springs is pretty terrible. It's drinkable but the limestone leaves a chalky dry after taste. I never felt like my thirst was quenched but I drank it down because I didn't have a choice. My toes looked like they went through a blender after our midnight decent. It didn't help that my toes were still raw from the trekking in Nepal. I might want to reconsider my "summer" sock & boot configuration of Vasque Briza GTX boots with thin wool socks. This is the second time I've gotten some gnarly blisters but not sure if it was because my toes were still a bit tender from Nepal. My "winter" set up, with the Vasque Breeze GTX boots, thin liner socks under thick wool socks have never left any blisters. Hmmmm.

Fun short trip and as always, it's not an adventure if everything goes to plan. Mother nature had a hand in the trip, I was a bit unprepared forgetting my rain jacket (still smacking my forehead over that) and I even forgot to put my SD card back in my camera (double smack on forehead). So, all my pics are from my iphone and a few are stolen from my hiking companions. Glad I got to hang out and get to know Tyler, Owen and Shelly from the NTOPC better. Thanks for putting up with my offensive humor. You guys rock!

Field Notes (Part II)

Oh, how I love the smell of nervous anxiety and the carnage of crushed egos. Ah yes.....back playing in the minefield and here are my field notes part deux.

Pro Tips:
The other day, Aunt T called and she asked what I was up to. I was actually headed to a date and here was our conversation that followed:

Aunt T: "Ok, Tania......remember be sweet and nice. Men like sweet girls. Oh, and don't cuss so much......be a lady."

Me: "What? So you want me to be fake? Isn't the right thing to do is be myself?"

Aunt T: "Yes, of course be yourself.....just not so mean. You need to make the man feel like he is smarter, stronger and more surperior to you"

Me: "Bullshit. If a man is smarter, stronger and superior to me, then he will be. I'm not going to dumb it down in any catergory just to make him feel better. If a man can't take me for who I am, then he's too big of a sissy and I don't want him."

Aunt T: "With that attitude, no man will want you."

Me: "Wait.....why am I taking advice from you? Who do you think I learned to be so mean from?"

Aunt T: "I've changed. That's how I got my boyfriend and he adores me."

Me: "You haven't changed......you just yelled at me the other day! So you ARE being fake. He adores your big fake boobies and putting his pecker in your hot little 20 year old body!"

Aunt T: "TANIA!!!! That's not nice. This is what I mean. You need to treat men nicer. They have very frail egos and are like eggs and if you are too hard they'll crack."

Me: "I'm not going to pretend and be sweet when it's really not within my nature. I would rather be real than pretend to be someone I'm not, just to impress someone. Not my fault if they can't take it. I like my eggs sunny side up, anyways."

Aunt T: *frustrated sigh* "It's a good thing you're college educated and have your looks."


I don't know what is funnier....that she thinks that I'm hopeless and will be single forever or that she thinks all men are that fragile and she has to be "soft" so her man will love her.


Now Man:
I don't expect men to plan an elaborate first time date. I'm pretty laid back and comfortable with just meeting up & grabbing a drink. However, I do prefer to set a day and time.....most people do in these hectic modern times. This guy will send me a random text message after 5:00PM, about once a week asking if I want to meet up with him. No, I've got plans. If you want to set a date with me, set it. Don't text or call me an hour before you want to hang out if we've never met before. What am I? 1-800- "date in a pinch"? Or someone cancelled on you and you think I'll drop everything to meet up with you? I don't fucking think so. My social calendar is jammed packed. I set first priority to the BFF's, friends, days that I play (bike, rock climb, ect) so, no.....I'm not going to be your last minute girl because I have a life.


Best Defense Summation From a Guy:
So, obviously since I'm blogging about my horror stories dating experience, I also run my stories through my friends first. My girlfriends of course are usually laughing so hard or shaking their heads in disbelief. My guy friends of course give me their point of view. One of my favorite little nuggets of gold came from The Cream. Text convo:

The Cream: "How was your date?"

Me: "Eh, it was O.K. Dinner & drinks, this was our 3rd. We wrapped up around midnight. He just wants to get in my pants."

The Cream: "Lol. I don't blame him, haha"

Me: "Ha! Thanks for the support! Lol. Jackass."

The Cream: "Well sheesh! You're hot! He is just helpless. We have a brain and a penis and only enough blood to run one at a time! :)"

Ahhhh......that totally explains it.


Shallow Hal:
Went on 3 dates with this one guy. Super. Hot. Initially very attracted to him physically but the more we hung out and talked I realized how shallow and insecure he was. He didn't talk about anything except how hot I was and how he was going to violate me every which way til Tuesday......um really? I haven't given up the goodies and you are assuming you are getting in my pants? ASSumes much, do we?  Knowing how one dimensional he was, it shouldn't have shocked me that he didn't know or care to know about any of my passions. Look, I am not expecting you to remember every single intricate life detail, we already know that would put too much strain on that wittle brain of yours, but when you blatantly mess up and get me confused with another girl you are seeing. I. Will. Call. You. Out. If you are not smart enough to juggle multiple dates, don't. So, I stopped texting him because I was no longer into or entertained by this guy back in March. Everyone and their dog knew I was going to Nepal in April, yet this guy kept texting me while I was out of the country and we all know how I feel about my phone being blown up while I'm traveling. (Maybe you should have payed more attention to my stories instead of checking out my boobs.) I know not everyone is equiped with the supreme organizational skills that allows me to juggle up to five guys at a time but if you can't keep up with the facts, you just end up looking like a whopping douche lord. Yeah, I don't care how good looking you are, I need someone with more depth than a half filled shot glass.

Best Comeback By The Boss:
I even share a few of my stories to my boss who is absolutely the best boss ever. He is so laid back and puts up with all my crap from my cantankerous personality to endless volleys of sarcastic comments tossed his way. Just a quick background explanation on the boss: his BS degree and first career were in the IT field. So, the other day I was just shooting the shit with the boss and my dating life came up.

The Boss: "Yeah, so how's singles scene treating ya? Any lucky guy make the cut?"

Me: "Meh, been going on lot's of dates. This last date was OK, he is smart, funny, has a good head on his shoulders, good career."

The Boss: "Buuuut......what's the catch?"

Me: "He's an IT guy and well you know...........they aren't exactly the best looking bunch......."

*realization hits brain after comment leaves my mouth*

*a look of sheer horror crosses my face*

*Mrs. Work Boo is laughing hysterically*

Me: "OMG......" *stutters incoherently*

*my eyes are wide as saucers with hand covering gaping mouth*

The Boss (in deadpan voice): "I don't know what you're talking about. I'm in sales." 


BURN!!!!!!!!!!

*boss exits stage left*

*Mrs. Work Boo is rolling on the floor laughing almost peeing her pants*

I suffer from acute, open mouth, insert foot syndrome.



Did He Really Just Ask That?..........Oh Snap!:
I'm not a prude by any means and I can usually dish it out as good as I get. However, I do expect a certain level of respect and I don't take too kindly being treated like a $10 hooker. I wish this story was an exaggeration, but it's not. I haven't slept with or done anything, with this particular guy (and no, I'm not saying that protect my innocence because we all know that I'm a black hearted demon, but I don't give out my goodies like candy on Halloween).

Guy sent a text pic of his manhood in all its glory and at full salute and had the audacity to text: "So when are you going to suck it?"

Me: "I don't let anything that small near me."


REALLY? Does that really fucking work on most women? What the hell? Just because I'm Asian does not mean I'm going to be your fucking play toy. If your only cultural knowledge of Asian women is from Full Metal Jacket, you might want to expand on it a bit. No "sucky-sucky" for you, asshole. Seriously, has the media, Facebook, texting and the internet really eradicated all social graces to this level. I'm not the type of girl that needs lots of romance. Hell, I don't even like flowers. They are a waste of money in my opinion, why pay outrageous amounts of money on something that has the life span of days (food, travel and gear are the ways into my heart *cough-cough*). I so could have posted that picture on the web but I didn't. (See Aunt T, I can be nice!)


Silver Lining:
It's sort of inevitable to compare the current person you are dating to your last ex. Even though I've had some rotten apples....I will say for the most part this most recent block of guys have been good (I just blog about my bad dates but I actually have a decent number of good dates too). I tend to date complete opposites of my last ex. My last relationship being Mr. Rock Climber, really shouldn't have lasted as long as it did but I postponed the break-up because he was going through a lot of personal issues and I didn't have the heart to kick someone while they are down. Shocking, I know, but I am pretty compassionate to my fellow humans when they deserve it. He was going through a lot and then the holidays, his birthday came around and my friends all advised me not to do the break up then. See, I actually listen to advice but I did break up with him shortly after. He did not take it well at all. I know break-ups are rough, but he was absolutely devastated after 4 months of dating. I never uttered the "L" word, never made any long term plans, and kind of took the relationship a day at a time. I did feel bad, but I knew deep down it was the right thing to do. He didn't think so, and I respect the difference of opinions but he blew up my phone for weeks and texted some really nasty messages. I understand lashing out and getting it out of your system but it was getting pretty ridiculous the length it was going on for. His barrage of incessant emotional messages was kind of taking a toll on me because for once I was trying to be the better person and not lash out back at him. It was really rough to take all the accusations, the spiteful words, the malicious comments all laying down with out a single comment of retaliation. This went against every fiber of my body but I ignored it all and kept it classy. See, this old dog can learn new tricks.

Anyways, these last group of men I've been going on dates with, have been all very well educated, well spoken, well traveled, well groomed, career oriented, men with lot's of passions & hobbies, ect. Meeting these last few dates have really vindicated my decision to end it with Mr. Rock Climber. (I could go nuclear bitch and shred him to pieces on my blog, on why we were far from a perfect match as revenge for his vicious attacks but I've decided to keep that to myself.) I've had a lot of fun getting to know these men and broaden my mind on what I would consider in a significant other. I'm a multi-dimensional person with many layers to my personality (no, it's not all bitchy & uber-bitchy), numerous likes/dislikes, passions and wants in this life. This is what dating is about. Taking the good with the bad, learning from each person, each experience, having fun and not taking it all so seriously.

Nepal Trip Report (Part I): 4/12/12-5/2/12

This was an amazing adventure of epic proportions: from the ultra-endurance flights & layovers, hair raising taxi rides, the insanity of Kathmandu, the adrenaline pumping flight to Lukla, the serene simplicity of mountain village life, the dramatic and ravishing scenery of the Himalayas, the bewitching Nepal culture infused in ancient tradition, and the warm, hard working and open nature of the Nepalese people. This was my dream trip and was everything I could dare to hope for and more.

Meet Aunt Thanh:

I can't write about my adventure without the mention of Aunt T. I told her that I was headed to Nepal and without even blinking she goes (think Ms. Swan from MadTV accent for her voice): "I want to go."  My aunt has been around the world and loves traveling (it's where I get it from). I love her "Bags packed, where are we going?" mentality. 

For those that know Aunt Thanh personally, no introductions are necessary. I'm sure you have a wealth of hilarious stories from my crazy aunt. This is the same aunt that told me a few days before my trip, and I requote this verbatim: "You know Tania, after you turn 29 this year, you should really think about settling down. You know you won't be pretty forever. Men have more options than women" For those that have not had the pleasure of meeting her, let me give you a quick synopsis. My mother died when I was 10 and my aunt was my mother figure growing up. She's lived an incredible life: survived poverty, war and many more atrocities so she was hard on me and did not coddle me whatsoever. I could write a massive book on her life, she has so many stories. Needless to say, she taught me to be independent, fearless, bluntly honest, and go for what I want in life. Wonder where my outspokenness, stubbornness and tenacity comes from? Look no further. She comes off mean and harsh (hmmm, see the connection?) with her outlandishly direct and disconcertingly frank comments but she has a heart of gold. She always means well but can be off putting to those not used to her lack of sensitivity. You are either offended or rolling with laughter from the sheer hilarity of her comments. She is a teller of unpopular truths. No one is immune from her observations or sharp tongue.

Through everything that I have gone through, she has always been there. She is my mentor, my inspiration for strength, my rock of stability, my vivacious Aunt Thanh.......the one and only (thank goodness because I don't think this world could handle two ;). 

To Nepal- 1 Destination, 2 Layovers, 3 Flights, 4 Countries, 5 Airplane Meals:

Apparently, I can make anything into an endurance event, and traveling is no exception. I flew out of DFW, to London, then had a 6 hr layover. London is where I was meeting up with my crazy Aunt Thanh. I walked around the terminal looking for her and decided to recruit the help of some nice British chaps at the information desk. After some harmless flirting (can I tell you I love the accent!) I persuaded them to put out a PA over the airport loudspeaker for my auntie. (They were only sightly breaking protocol......tee hee :). Once my auntie and I were reunited, we then flew to New Delhi, where we had a 5 hr layover and finally from there to Kathmandu. 20 plus hours of flight time, 11 plus hours of layover, equals a total of 31+ hrs to reach Kathmandu, Nepal which has a time difference of 11 hours and 45 minutes ahead of CST. Because of the long, stamina testing flights, I was fed a total of 5 meals and numerous snacks. Airplane food is at best.......warm? Guess I shouldn't really complain since I at least got fed. On top of the long flight and layover times, my sleep was sporadic and light at best. I utilized the free wine (on international flights) and melatonin but coach seats and airport benches don't make the best of beds. Can we say jet lagged?

Kathmandu- A City At The Crossroads;

I blearily stepped off the last plane and into the madness of Kathmandu. A sensory overload of sights, sounds and smells bombarded me. I am rarely afraid of riding in a car being female and Asian, it's not like I have the best driving skills. An ex-boyfriend once told me that anytime he wanted an adrenaline rush, he let me drive. The harrowing ride from the airport to the hotel was a death grip on the"oh shit" handle affair. The roads have no rules, rhyme or reason to me. Between the cars/vans/buses lumbering about, motor bikes would zip in & out between the vehicles, and add in the mix of slower bicycles, rick-shaws & pedestrians make for a crowded, distressing, honking cacophony of an experience. Adding to the mayhem of the traffic is that the city infrastructure is 70 years old, there are no stop signs or stop lights (patrol officers direct traffic) and there doesn't seem to be any road rules which adds fuel to the wild-wild west feel.

The city itself seems to be like every other developing world city that is barreling down head long for impact of modernization but look closer and you'll find that there are parts still steeped with it's deep rich historical culture. The city itself is a contrast of old and new: a bustling commercial hub with people everywhere yet dotted with enchanting medieval temples. There is a lot of pollution and dust. I think due to inversion, a heavy hazy cloud constantly clings over the city and obscures the surrounding mountain views. Trash, debris, and ruins are visible at the side of the road. Remember, this is still a third world country with a fairly new democract and parliament painfully & slowly trying to get order about. With that said, I never once felt afraid wandering the streets. Even with this city trying to find it's foot hold in the modern era, I was never fearful for my life. Almost got clipped a few times by motorbikes and cars but being a cyclist, I'm pretty used to that. Kathmandu has many different castes, ethnic groups and religions but with all the differences they coincide in harmony. Thamel market is a bargainer's dream. There are endless stalls of trinkets, baubles, clothes, trekking gear, ect to be haggled over. I had a blast buying jewelry, scarfs, shirts, hats, and other random knick knacks, but the true professional haggler is my aunt. Back in November of 2011, we went to Arizona she had declared to the Asian Enterprise car rental agent that: "We are Vietnamese. We are the cheap jews of the Asians." Oh, how true she lived up to that proclamation. I was able to haggle 30-50% of the price down but she would routinely get things 60-75% off the price. I think she was a sales rep in a previous life.

Shanker Hotel:

We stayed in The Shanker Hotel for the three days before leaving for the trek through the mountains and then again for two days when we got back from trekking. It is an old palace now converted to a four star hotel. The hotel was a beautiful retreat from the craziness of the city. The huge garden provided a refreshing and quiet oasis with a swimming pool, dozens of cabanas and bright, colorful pretty landscaping in contrast to the brown dust tinged city. The service is top notch from expectant and helpful staff. The breakfast buffet served from 6-10 AM, was a great way to start every morning. The hotel has a lot of character with lots of detailed inlaid molding depicting Hindu gods, people and design. Rooms come standard with flat screen TV's, personal AC unit and plenty of space. The bathrooms were modern, updated, granite counter tops and showers which is up to par by western standards. I think my only complaint was that my bed was hard as a rock. Overall, I had a very pleasant and relaxing stay.

The Himalayas-"The Roof Top of the World":

This hiking adventure is not for the faint heart, lazy, or those squeamish about lack of western bathroom standards. If your only idea of vacation is a 5 star luxury all inclusive resort on plush beds.........this is not for you. If you can rough it a bit & put some leg work in, you will be rewarded by breathtaking vistas, awe inspiring beauty, a welcoming international crowd of touring trekkers, and high Himalayan hospitality. This type of trip is an adventure of a lifetime with experiences & memories that will touch you to the core.

When my aunt decided she wanted to tag along on my trip, I sent her a packet of information of Nepal's history, customs, my trek itinerary, what type of accommodations we would be staying at in the mountains and what to pack. I bought ALL her hiking gear for her so all she had to do was buy hiking boots and pack what I sent her. I even booked her flights......literally, I handed everything on a silver platter. She somehow managed to fail miserably. She didn't pack all the gear I bought, didn't even look or read any of the material that I sent. So, the night before we were leaving for the hiking portion of the trip, she and I got into a HUGE fight. I was so angry that she didn't read a SINGLE line of information and failed to pack the necessary items. She had absolutely no idea what she signed up for because she didn't have enough sense to read. W.T.F? I had to keep throwing things out because we had to keep our combined gear under 33 lbs for the porter but she wanted to bring numerous outfits for every day (this ain't the Miss America pageant). She didn't pack pretty important pieces of gear: like the hiking pants, water bladder, nagalene water bottle, sun hat, bandanna, ect that I specifically bought. It was a very angry & tension filled night, with neither one of us willing to back off. My aunt is not used to being on the receiving end of a verbal barrage laced with profanity. I usually don't cuss in front of or at my Aunt but my anger got the better of me. I wasn't afraid of her wrath or of anybody for that matter. Hell, she taught me that.

Lukla Flight:

The main event of this trip was the hiking (called trekking over in Nepal) through the highest mountain range in the world. Since I only had limited time to get my adventure done, I had chosen a 12 day itinerary that started in Lukla which is the entrance of the Khumbu region. It is a short 20-30 minute flight from Kathmandu to Lukla......in a small Otter airplane. You know it's going to be a hell of a ride when the flight attendant passes out cotton balls for your ears and bubble gum. The last time I was in an Otter, I jumped out of it. Oh, on top of being crammed in a small prop plane, the air strip in Lukla is the shortest runway in the world. 500 meters long, uphill and at the end there is a wall. Considered one of the 10 most dangerous airports in the world. Click here to see a bit of what I experienced. It was absolutely insane. I LOOOOVED it. :)

The "Breathtaking" Trek:
Starting off, you stroll through the green valley of the Khumbu region. Daytime temperatures were warm and in the 60-70's with night time temps dipping to the 50's at "lower" elevation. (To this flat-lander, anything over 1,000 ft is elevation, HA!) The trail is easy to follow and you are usually surrounded by teams of yaks, other trekkers and porters. At times it was very crowded but every once in awhile I would find myself alone, lost in the utter magnificence of the Himalaya's. The hike is not a stroll in a park (aprx 75+ miles & over 10,000 ft of elevation gain). There is a lot of up and down and very little "flats". Mountain people and non-mountain people have two very different ideas of "flat". Look, I live in north Texas.....I know what flat is (the Nepalese mountain people don't count anything less than 20,000ft a mountain.....they call them "hills" :P ). As the days progressed, the difficulty became more apparent with the increase in altitude and pronounced "uphill" hiking. Going up is a lung searing and quad shredding affair with elevations ranging from 9,000 to 17,000+ ft, so breathing becomes a slight issue (like, "who the fuck turned off the oxygen" feeling). Each day I would hike 5-8 hours and my aunt an hour or two more than that (I was ahead and Egla the guide or Rusha the porter split to accompany either my aunt or I). In "higher" elevation, 12,000 ft + it becomes a bit chillier and as we wound higher and further into the Khumbu region the winds began to pick up. At 14,000+ ft you are out of treeline and without the treeline to shelter you, the winds start to bite with fine flecks of sand invading your eyes & nasal cavities. Breathing was noticeably harder, deep sleep became difficult to attain and loss a bit of my appetite. But the mountain views became even more dramatically grandiose. The peaks looked extremely close due to their massive size and height (surrounded by 20,000+ ft mtns). Daytime temps were 60's-50's F and night time lows were in the 40's-20's. Had almost perfect weather with only one brief shower on the way up to Tengboche and snow on our our first night in Dingboche. At 16,000+ ft, breathing, thinking and walking became a chore. It was an uphill death slog for me but the phenomenal beauty around me kept me from thinking of my discomfort. My pictures never do any of my trips justice and my images of this trip are woefully sub-par to seeing it in person.

 Mountain Accommodations: We hiked from village to village so there was no need to pack tent, cooking supplies, ect and slept in tea houses. What are tea houses? Tea houses are basic lodges that have a central dining area with numerous wooden tables and benches for seating. They heat the main dining hall with stoves fueled with yak shit. The lights in the dining hall are powered with a generator but would only be utilized once it was completely dark outside and they closed down the dining area around 9:00 PM. The sleeping rooms are very basic, with 2 wooden cots, an anemic thin foam mattress, blankets and
pillows. Rooms do not have a heat source, so you must rely on layers, sleeping bag and blankets for warmth. Some rooms come with a private "toilet" while other lodges have "community" toilets. The further up you go in the mountains the more basic the amenities become. The tea houses are about a few steps up from tent camping because these structures are not insulated and made of paper thin walls of plywood. I could hear my neighbors snore, fart, piss, crap and fornicate. The tea houses below 12,000 ft that we stayed at had western style indoor private in room toilets. Above that altitude, the tea houses had "western" looking toilets but no indoor plumbing which meant you flushed by pouring water with a bucket until your waste was pushed down by weight and gravity. The other "toilet" commonly found is the "Eastern" style which is a porcelain hole in the ground with a bucket of water to "flush". Then some tea houses were only outfitted with an outhouse. A shack with a wooden floor, hole cut in the middle to do your business and a pile of dirt compost to kick in the hole to keep the foul smells at bay. Hot showers are a
true luxury in the mountains. I took only three showers, day 2, 9, and last day (yeah, no one smelled like roses). The picture to the right shows a shower head, but what it doesn't show is the toilet right next to it. You could literally be on the pot and shower at the same time. There is no separation from the shower and toilet area. Further up in altitude, there are no "proper" showers because of 1.) no indoor plumbing  2.) water becomes a very precious resource. In Dingboche, I paid roughly $5 for a bucket of hot water to clean myself. I stood in a small room with a drain while I poured the rapidly cooling water over myself. When I didn't have the option of a hot shower or bucket sponge bath, I had to depend on "backpacker" wipes which are over glorified wet wipes, but still a bone chilling experience. At that altitude and temperatures, it was a miracle I even took off my clothes and suffered through wet and cold "whore's" bath. My teeth would chatter uncontrollably while I tried to quickly wipe down with multiple citrus scented wipes. Hot visual huh?

Himalayan Cuisine: Nepal's mountains are not exactly known for their gourmet cuisine, but I didn't exactly starve either. We
were warned not to eat meat because 1.) all the food at the tea houses for trekkers are flown from Kathmandu to Lukla and transported on the back of yaks or sherpas (more on this later) so you have no idea how old the meat is. 2.) In high altitude, it is not wise to eat protein heavy meals because more blood flow is needed for your gut to help digest, but your lungs come first when lack of O2 hinders your ability to breathe. Your body will naturally prioritize where blood flow is needed most. So either way, eating meat could cause your GI system to go on full mutiny which is the last thing you want. So, for almost

two weeks I was on a vegetarian/carbo heavy diet. No meat and also no alcohol until I was on the descent. The food was pretty decent for the most part except for a pizza I ordered in Namache because I was tired of Dal Bhat (traditional Nepalese meal of rice, lentil soup, & curry) The pizza was so bland and tasteless I barely choked it down. Also understand, a lot of tea house cooks have never had "real" western food but have rough, verbally passed recipes so many things might be lost in translation. After that incident, I kept to more traditional Nepal offerings and didn't have a problem. My favorite food in the mountains were the potatoes. I would have a side of potatoes with almost every meal from breakfast to dinner. Potatoes are the only crops that can survive in the nutrient deficient mountain soils, harsh temperatures and little water. They were so freaking delicious. Descending back to Lukla, I was finally able to eat meat and drink beer. The chicken was a bit dry but the tasty Everest beer helped wash it down.

Superhuman Sherpas: As stated earlier, we had a sherpa porter to carry our extra gear while we had our daypacks with extra layers, water, snacks, med kit, camera, ect. Spare clothing, sleeping bag, ect went with the sherpa. Before you lambaste me for hiring one, understand that I do have experience backpacking so I know exactly what 45lbs on the back feels like. I also know that this hike is no joke with the terrain and altitude. Also, by hiring a porter, you are helping their economy (I also tipped $158 to my Sherpa, so I'm not a senseless, uncaring American tourist) For my tri-dork friends, 4 time World Ironman Chrissie Wellington spent 16 months working in Nepal where she mountain biked through the Himalayas. There is a reason why the Sherpa people are world re-known & unsurpassed for their strength and endurance in the mountains. They are uniquely & genetically gifted for high altitude and they leverage this to try to provide a better life for their families by carrying huge loads up and down the mountains (paid by weight). Rusha, our sherpa was completely invaluable and an integral piece to us not dying. I could count on 2 hands the number of tourist trekkers that carried their own packs. Kudos to them with their fancy $200+ Osprey backpack with weight distributing straps and air flow vent (I can be snarky b/c I own said fancy gear) but the sherpa's were the true "superhumans". They carried massive loads with nothing more than rope, baskets & straps across their forehead while walking slightly bent over. The trail that we trekked is not only for tourists but it is the only way for supplies (everything from lumbers, food, goods) to get to the remote mountain villages via the backs of sherpas, yaks or mules. The terrain is so rugged, there are no paved roads and completely impassable by motor vehicles. Saw everything from gallons of fluids (maybe petrol?), water reservoirs, lumber, multiple slabs of plywood, and even a fucking fridge! Absolutely mind blowing the physical stamina and strength that they have. I think IM athletes are badass but the Sherpa's blow any endurance athlete out of the water and make even the super active and fit groups of our society look like a bunch of fucking posers. My aunt who has survived the Vietnam War, poverty, and knows what hard labor is but even she bowed down to their unparalleled stamina and was in awe of Himalayan mountain peoples backbreaking work ethic.

Stay tuned for part II of my Nepal adventure.......................